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The Misadventures of Belial Poddington Village Green
Trask Spinks sits in his chair, in front of the shining motorcar. He stares at the car, but it will not burn and turn into cinders. Vicar Warrenton takes some loping steps across the green, on the way to the public house. "Er...hallo, Mr Spinks." Trask Spinks turns to the Vicar, "Do you know what that machine is doing here?" and points at the offending motorcar. Vicar Warrenton peers at the motor. "Er...it appears to be parked." Trask Spinks says "Yes, yes, certainly..." Trask Spinks moves away a quater of the wheelchair wheel from the car. "But why is it parked here? In Poddington?" Gleaming Motorcar:
You say "Er...it's Clive DeWinter's. He leaves it where he pleases. Sharp little thing, isn't she?" Trask Spinks makes a face at the Vicar's choice of words, "Yes, every piece of metal looks like a knife to me.. " [Trask Spinks]
Vicar Warrenton looks at the automobile longingly. "I bet a girl would love a bit of a spin in a ripping little motor like this." Trask Spinks says "I think they should not be allowed outside of the English cities..London and Plymouth.. They cannot do much harm there." Vicar Warrenton strokes the car's front fender. Trask Spinks pulls up his blanket a little, "Did I tell you about my legs? It was one of those sharp ripping things." Vicar Warrenton abruptly stops stroking the car and coughs. "Er. Ah. Well. No. Er...and how are you today, Mr Cripple? I mean, Spinks!" Trask Spinks glares at the clergyman, but decides to ignore the slip of tongue.. this time.. "There is nothing wrong with me.. not more than usual I mean." Vicar Warrenton smiles grimly. "Er...that's jolly good. Looks like rain, eh? Good thing I brought my crutches. Er, brolly!" Vicar Warrenton holds up the umbrella desperately. Trask Spinks looks up at the sky, and says, more frosty than the air, "You seem like you would have nothing against going on a trip in that.. rolling machine.. " The wind tears hard at the Vicar's umbrella. Vicar Warrenton coughs. "Well, I do admit to a...er...that is, if I had a...er...and Miss Buttock was...er...no." Trask Spinks says "Miss Buttock and you? Do you think she likes to ride fast?" You say "Er....no." You say "She's a nice girl." Trask Spinks says "Yes, yes, certainly.. a nice girl.." Trask Spinks says "If you really liked her, you should not even think of bringing her into one of these ... things..." Trask Spinks looks at the car, "Do you think you could drive it?" Vicar Warrenton looks at Mr Spinks and then at Belial. "Er...a bit dangerous, eh?" Trask Spinks says "It is very dangerous.. And I cannot imagine that a Vicar would know how to conduct it safely." Trask Spinks looks in through the window.. "Strange.. they left the door open!" Trask Spinks opens the door of the car. "They should know better." Vicar Warrenton tugs at his collar. "Er. I've never had any...that is...I've not...lessons." He perks up. "But I'm sure it's just a bit of throttle here and a bit of petrol there, eh?" Trask Spinks says "Yes.. but it is very dangerous! I know! It is very easy to drive too fast!" Vicar Warrenton bites his lip and peers in. Trask Spinks says, "And then.. just look at what happend to my legs. It was just like that.. some idiot from London thought that he could drive in Poddington like if he were on the Tower Bridge.", and explains, "In London." Vicar Warrenton peeks into the motorcar. "Gosh, how ripping." Trask Spinks says "The chair looks nice .. what is that cloth made of?" Trask Spinks says "Maybe you could help me into one of these seats? I would not mind trying it out .. they look quite comfortable." You say "er...of course." Vicar Warrenton opens the passenger door and heaves up Mr Spinks. Trask Spinks moves from his wheelchair into the chairs with much stronger wheels under them. Inside the Gleaming Motorcar
Vicar Warrenton settles into the driver's seat. "Eh! Well then!" Trask Spinks says "What do you mean..? Well then???" Trask Spinks looks at the Ducking pond "You do not intend to drive it do you?" Vicar Warrenton looks at the controls blankly. "Er...of course not." Vicar Warrenton plays with the steering wheel. Vicar Warrenton honks the horn. "Honk! Honk!" he laughs to himself. Trask Spinks looks at the complicated controls, "Be careful! You might attract the ducks in that way!" [The car moves.] The road meanders approximately northward, passing neatly kept older homes on progressively larger tracts of land. After some walk, and a moderate elevation change, the road ends abruptly after passing over a well-kept bridge. The wrought iron gates just beyond the bridge stand ajar, as they have for generations. The Old Dairy Road: Outside the DeWinter
Estate
Trask Spinks says "It moved!!! What did you do!!" Vicar Warrenton gasps as the car moves forward. He clutches the steering wheel. "Er....I just pulled this lever!" Trask Spinks says "I told you not to mess with it!" Vicar Warrenton turns the wheel in an attempt to move the car back to the green. [The car moves again]
Poddington Village Green
Trask Spinks says "Be careful! You almost smashed into the stocks! They could have overturned over us!" You say "Er...isn't there a brake on this jobbie?" Vicar Warrenton brings the car to a stop. Trask Spinks says, slightly hysterically, "A brake? I don't know.. maybe it is that one? ", and points at random.. Vicar Warrenton pulls the lever, and the car lurches and stops completely. "Er...very good." He is breathing heavily. "Er...perhaps I'd best help you out." Trask Spinks pants.. "Yes. this is not good for my heart.. not at all good.." Vicar Warrenton leans over and opens Mr Spink's door from the inside, then hops out to assist him back into his wheelchair. Poddington Village Green
With a slight groan, the emergency brake on the automobile gives way. The motor glides regally toward the duck pond. Trask Spinks looks at the amphibian car. Vicar Warrenton runs after the car, but stops as it eases into the duck pond. Trask Spinks says.. carefully,.. "Maybe that is best for us all.. If it got.. out of the way.." Vicar Warrenton gulps. "Golly." Trask Spinks says "I think.. I need to rest a little..." Vicar Warrenton coughs. "Um...Mr Spinks...." You say "Perhaps we'd best not say anything about...er...you know...?" Vicar Warrenton looks at the elderly man with hope. Trask Spinks looks at the Vicar.. "But.. are you sure that they will not notice?" Trask Spinks shows at the car which is now surrounded by quacking ducks. Trask Spinks says, without much hope.. "Maybe.. they will come back for it?" Vicar Warrenton admires the mostly submerged car. "Er. But they don't have to know who...er...that is...couldn't it just be between us?" Trask Spinks says "But Vicar! I am shocked that a man of the church can speak like that. Have you forgotten the seventh commandment?" Trask Spinks says "If they ask who was driving, I have to tell the truth." Vicar Warrenton pokes at the car's boot. It settles slightly deeper into the muck. "Er...seventh commandment, seventh commandment, er...seventh commandment." Trask Spinks says "We do not want to go to hell because of a motorcar do we? Besides, there is always the chance that they will not ask us." Vicar Warrenton perks up at the last statement. "Yes! Yes! They might not ask us!" Trask Spinks says "I think there is nothing in the Good Book that says that you have to tell everything. I am sure that even a priest does not have to be downright stupid.. do you agree, vicar?" Vicar Warrenton nods fervently. "Yes! Yes!" Trask Spinks looks around.. "In that case.. I think I have some very urgent business.." Vicar Warrenton looks around as well. "And I've Bibles to....wax." Trask Spinks nods.. "Yes.. they must not mold.. " Trask Spinks rolls hurriedly away...
[ The End ]
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